пятница, 17 октября 2008 г.

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So I got another dog. SO WHAT?



heapos;s kinda like a mini-toby.

By "mini" I mean heapos;s half the size of Toby, which I guess is more or less the usual size of a regular sort of dog.


I DO WHAT I WANT.


By the time Jones gets back I will have new things in my life, like said dog, a computer to replace the one that was stolen (FINALLY), new eyeglasses, new boots, a potential new job, and then Iapos;ll be moving into my new room, which is more or less a tree house without the tree. But I plan on getting some house plants.

Iapos;m not sure how Jones will feel about these things, mostly the dog, boots and glasses, but I donapos;t think I care very much at all really. At this point, I almost feel like whatever was going on between us before he left, is kinda like some half-remembered dream, and these past couple of weeks I finally figured out what itapos;s like to be myself again, back in NYC.

Whatever.
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afterings




I had to wait so long for my wannabe dial up connection, that i managed to paint most of my ceiling and still come back to an unloaded page. So long infact that iapos;ve now forgotten what i was going to say. Bugger.

i guess, iapos;ve gone through the full spectrum of teenage angsty emotions this evening. Iapos;m now set on nostaligia, yay.

ffaf has just come on random, and it brings back memories of what must be about 3years ago now. Thereapos;s no specific memory, but i definately felt the link between apos;mind, body and soulapos; a little stronger. It struck me when i was painting, and was overcome with the apos;crushed outapos; sensation due to a silly song whose lyrics reenacted how you apos;shouldapos; feel, infested with butterflies, bright eyed and bushy tailed.

whenever i envision the rawest emotions i envision myself running, flailing, through people, trees, crowds, half falling, half sprinting, as if my bodyapos;s not quite sure which is more appropriate. For all the obstacles, i feel free. A release, not unlike when you fall over as a small child and graze your knee. Fresh and raw, the passing breeze breathes life to it, reminds you you feel. Well, in this apos;dreamapos; i have a similar feeling, spread evenly across every inch of my skin. Thereapos;s an almost self flagelation comparison in there somewhere, running into objects animate or not, theyapos;re still sturdy enough to inflict some resistance.

meh

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OH YEAH. I donapos;t know if I ever posted my LoboHead pictures




Obviously, you know, not completed LoboHead. (Did the lack of eyes tip you off? Less obvious, also, the lack of nose and ears.)


ITapos;S SO CLOSE TO BE BEING FINISHED HELL, IT MAY BE FINISHED. SHE JUST GOT MY ADDRESS AND IS GOING TO POP IT IN THE MAIL AS SOON AS ITapos;S COMPLETE.


I swear, Iapos;ll probably squeal for like, days. And then wear it around and jump out and scare small children. WOOOOO canapos;t wait. I mean...I thought that was the most awesome thing about furriness and whatever when I discovered it, was the fursuits. And Iapos;m about to have a head. OMFG, seriouly. I have a tail, feet (which need a little work, I gotta remember to glue that) and soon a head. Next is hand paws, yeah? (And then probably a *good* set of feet)


Naturally, this makes me dorkfreak to the extreme, but Iapos;m chill with that.
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четверг, 16 октября 2008 г.

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these are the words that sting like fire to my skin when i hear them flow. Words that make me not want to give any of my self to another man. Im glad that in this song she feels ready to let go of what she thought was real. In this frame of my life im living.... Like a scene of a movie that moveesss you. I feel i still am not ready , my hope is falling away from me again. Yet i have money in my pocket and i can have the time to explore my youth, i still feel that the absense of a senuous touch or sound of a mans voice�knowing�he is �understanding� why we are there in that moment together....well you get the picture. I dont want to look , i dont want to wait, the nauses feeling that comes upon me when i realize for the thousandth time that there is no future with what i thought was written in my stars. He is something i love, something i care for, he is a person that i want to be with
Tell me am I ever gonna find my Angel This life.
Iapos;ve got him on my mind again and though I search I never win. Iapos;m told that if you seek you shall find your Angel though Iapos;m, Iapos;m throwing most of my hope aside, but still praying Iapos;ll be found in time...

Extra, Extra this just in, Iapos;ve been living a lie from the beginning. I told myself No no one else, now I canapos;t help Iapos;m laughing at this life that I am living. Tell me will the sun come out to play, Im tired of living in this rain of Grey, with you stealing my Umbrella, ella ella Eh Eh Eh.
Itapos;s been years, still Im here wishing waiting wanting more, What he said he would give me.
Now the nights turned today carved in words, Displayed, Framed I vow to you Im ready. If you could take this pain away, My tears are streaming oceans on my face, No more dreaming yesterday is yesterday. YEAH YEAH YEAH...

Tell me am I ever gonna find my Angel This life.
Iapos;ve got him on my mind again and though I search I never win. Iapos;m told that if you seek you shall find your Angel though Iapos;m, Iapos;m throwing most of my hope aside, but still praying Iapos;ll be found in time...

Any other day, any other time and place, youapos;d still be on my mind, but now Iapos;m letting go, wonapos;t be taking this no more, Iapos;d just be wasting my time.
Yeah you tried to show me you love me, you need me though you just deceived me and now Iapos;m tired of waiting aimless in your arms.
Time goes by slowly, love dies, inside my soul cries, iapos;m holding on by breathing. I know my heart fought but itapos;s not caught the one that it ought, Ought,. Iapos;m letting go, Iapos;m leaving.
If you could take alll my pain away, My tears are streaming oceans on my face, No more dreaming yesterday is yesterday. Yeah Yeah Yeah

Tell me am I ever gonna find my Angel this life, Iapos;ve got him on my mind again and, and though I search I never win, Iapos;m told that if you seek you shall find your Angel though Iapos;m throwing most my hope aside, but still paraying Iapos;ll be found in time..

You donapos;t know what youapos;re doing to me, Baby
I know you donapos;t care, but one day youapos;ll see.
Today will be the day, tonight you will refrain, now that we are moving seperate ways away from we. Enough.....
Tell me am I ever gonna find my Angel This life.
Iapos;ve got him on my mind again and though I search I never win. Iapos;m told that if you seek you shall find your Angel though Iapos;m, Iapos;m throwing most of my hope aside, but still praying Iapos;ll be found in time...


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